After talking to a few friends about this and reflecting on a bunch of first, second and even third dates I've been on I had an epiphany.
The experience of being on a formal date and being excited about the person I'm with are pretty much diametrically opposed. Something about it -maybe the rigidity? the expectations? the rules and social niceties? -just makes the whole thing so structured, and I feel like the formality/structure may block my/their personality from shining. The person I'm with is suddenly just "nice," as am I.
I hear it from the other side too. The guy was "nice." The date was "nice." All went as it should. No interest? No excitement.
What are your thoughts and experiences?