Having been born into nerdom, I'm probably biased here. In any case, here goes:
10) Our kids will most probably be brilliant too, or at least will be genetically predisposed.
9) Nerds often have had their feelings hurt, and tend to be more sensitive about hurting others' feelings, including yours.
8) When there's a problem, we'll put our minds to it and won't stop until we find a solution.
7) We're genuinely happy to be with the person we're with.
6) We'll actually listen, because we know what it's like to feel unheard or unseen.
5) There is no superficial machismo in nerds.
4) There is a soft and vulnerable side to us -and you love it.
3) We are willing to learn, and will go to great lengths to become better people, men, husbands, fathers, lovers...
2) We don't play games or lead you on.
1) We will appreciate and cherish you every day of our lives.
Next, I'll probably have to write about the 10 Reasons Why Nerdy isn't Attractive (and perhaps some thoughts on how to get over it)...
Hey, I'm looking for a nerd.
ReplyDeleteNerd power!
Hear hear! (Though from what I can tell, most girls are into 'cool' jerks anyways for God knows what reason.)
ReplyDeleteits hard to believe that all the qualities u just listed only preside among the nerdy men of the world...
ReplyDeletethat being said..who doesnt love nerds?
(be nice to nerds chances are you will end up working for one)
I have a special appreciation for nerds (yes Frumgeek I fell into the jerk trap too).
ReplyDeleteWhat about nerdy girls, would guys make/agree with a list of reasons in their defense to go out with them? I'm cool with your list but don't think it's equitably applied to women. Maybe your upcoming post will deal with this. I don't consider myself overly nerdy but know that I'd have a hard time convincing a guy to go out with my nerdier friends.
Not surprising. I know a number of girls who dated jerks and KNEW they were jerks and would make bad husbands just b/c for whatever reason they liked it, maybe trying to change them or some garbage like that. It's way too comon and totally unfair to us nice guys.
DeleteI actually know a good number of guys who would love to date girls they could talk Doctor Who or history or Star Trek or comics with!
FG - Not all girls like the jerks - I've always found them positively unnatractive (ok, not ALWAYS, but definitely from age 14 and upwards!) But I've always liked nerds...
DeleteAny smart person will like what is good for them = nice sensitive guy.
I agree that dating nerds is the way to go, but they are not the only ones who make good husbands. I think that any guy who has been through some degree of suffering in life will be more sensitive and understanding.
I'll add that (from experience), I noticed that sometimes, guys who are SUPER nerdy have difficulties connecting on an emotional level because they have limited interaction with society (obviously that is only a minority)
Solution: Make a nerd quota, and make sure it's not too high or low!
As far as dating jerks goes: I don't know anyone who has ever told me, "Sparrow, know what I want? I want a guy who will treat me like scum." I have known girls who want a guy who is confident and can't always tell the difference between confidence and arrogance. Here's the thing about that, in a world where so many men are insecure about themselves and their masculinity, to find one who embraces that masculinity is a breath of freshy air. You don't have to spend your words catering to and propping up his ego.
ReplyDeleteIt gets old, fast. But you see the problem there, right? The jerk is the guy who is all ego.
The reason so many girls overlook nerds is because they don't usually come off as confident. For all you guys saying, "no fair," how many of you overlook the shy girl in the corner because she seems unapproachable? It's the same thing.
Not all nerds are created equal. There is a "nerd" spectrum. Though there are some qualities that can be considered "nerdy" that I like, overall, I think confidence (the way they carry themselves/talk/etc) is huge and is often lacking in guys who define themselves as "nerdy." As one of my friends told me, "You need a guy like the ones you were friends with in high school...but now they are frum."
ReplyDeleteI think "nerdy" girls have it harder, mainly because some of the "nerdy" qualities end up affecting the person's look (how they dress, walk, take care of themselves). And though girls can overlook a guy's look (somewhat) I think it is much harder for guys and even nerdy guys like attractive/put-together girls.
Yes, confidence is usually an issue for geeky guys, as well as learning socially acceptable behavior. (I myself struggled with how to act appeopriatelly in social situations, and it took a while to get to what most consider "normal". I'm still not entirely there yet, but I'm close enough that my few odd social mishaps are usually seen by girls as "cute" and "qwirky".)
DeleteAs for frum geeky girls, the two I know are actually very attractive (though admittedly one of them doesn't use much make up or paint her nails or anything, but she's still really cute). They're also both very outgoing, oddly enough. Huge comic book geeks though.
Yeah, that's huge. It's more than just confidence, its a presence. It is being comfortable with yourself and just going with the flow.
DeleteThey are probably the anomaly. I'm not trying to be mean, I actually happen to think that most girls (people) ARE beautiful. The more you stare at them, the more you realize their unique beauty. And some of them, if they only did x,y, and z, like there is so much potential. But alas, I cannot volunteer my "help" and I also think they are happy, so it is what it is.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-girls-dont-seem-to-understand-about-nice-guys/
ReplyDelete'Nuff said