The modern world sees love as a goal; an end unto itself. Love is the goal of a relationship. But more than that, love is often cited as the basis for action; a reason to get married or to do things for another person. When love dissipates, the relationship dissolves. It is a goal and the glue that keeps relationships together.
I heartily disagree, though, and I think such a perspective is highly damaging.
Love is an outcome. Let me be more specific: love as an emotion is an outcome. As is happiness. They come from a perspective and from hard work. To look for or chase after those things is like chasing after a million dollar lotto jackpot, or trying to gamble into wealth. The true way to get there -to earn and appreciate it -is to work hard, to focus on that work and giving, especially in the ways that the other person needs and responds to.
Exactly. I never understood it how a spouse can say (as on TV) "I don't love you anymore." What does that even mean? I think the other party no longer wants to make an effort. They think relationships are supposed to be easy if they are "in love," so if it is not easy they must not be "in love."
ReplyDeleteI think those two words are responsible for this crummy age of relationships.
Pretty much. Those two words carry with them this drug-like euphoria that people expect/hope/want will last forever.
ReplyDeleteWhen it doesn't, they go into withdrawal and toss the old (relationship) to find their next "fix" and feel "in love" again.