Search Me (My Blog)

May 15, 2011

Chia Pet... On My Face.

Today is the 22nd day of the Omer. 

I haven't shaved in 23 days (since before Pesach), and I'm starting (Ha, "starting." Starting was two and a half weeks ago!) to feel like a chia pet. The rate of growth is alarming, I don't ever remember my facial hair growing so quickly.

I've got split ends on half the hairs on my face/neck and no matter how many people say my beard looks great, manly, mature, etc. and tell me how it's much nicer to have the thick, full beard -particularly, they mention, in comparison to having just a few scraggly hairs -very few people know what it's like to poke oneself a thousand times every time I move or turn my head when I finally get to sleep.

In the morning, the prickling alone wakes me up. Don't even ask about my few feeble attempts at brushing, taming or otherwise grooming (without shaving, of course) this mane of camouflaged torturous needles.

You should see when it gets itchy, and I scratch. I look like a dog, with one hand pawing over and over in that one nook between my jawbone and my neck.

Maybe plucking is okay. How long does it take to pluck about 10,000 individual hairs? Anyone? Oh well, I'm probably not allowed to pluck anyway. Sigh. Back to life.


  1. LOL!
    Wow, I'm sorry...I didn't know that it's so uncomfortable.
    I've stated this before, and I'll state it again: I LOVE sefira beards. LOVE.

  2. ya, gotta agree with sefardi gal, i guess because i am one myself :p

  3. I don't disagree with y'all. In fact, I regularly maintain my ideal scruff (and shape), it's something I'm actually proud of.

    This is just too much, too quickly... and too annoying.

  4. ooh scruff and fancy almost i really am swooning

  5. Once way to get relief: condition. No one has to know. Claim you need a deep conditioning treatment for your sister. Or find a very distant drugstore and wear an insane disguise.

    Try coconut oil. It rocks. Shmear it on, let it sit for a few hours or even sleep in it, and shampoo (not bar soap!) it off in the morning.

  6. i'd love to see if a guy would ever try that for real. i cant get my brother to use tea tree oil on his face for zits.

  7. Tea tree oil is da bomb. If he doesn't try it, his loss. I can't get my brother to exfoliate, despite flaky red patches on his forehead.


  8. I've tried conditioner. Unfortunately it doesn't work as well on very short hair as it does on longer hair.

    Apparently lemon juice, and other slightly acidic compounds, can help soften... at least that's what I've heard. Problem is, I don't really have two lemons and a couple hours a day to sit around and marinate my face.

    Exfoliating is very important. Very.

  9. Somehow, all the comments here disappeared.

  10. Also, for anyone looking at the date, May 15th is the 26th Day of the Omer.

  11. There was a blip with Blogger on Friday. All my recent comments disappeared too.

    In any case, try the coconut oil. Your chia pet will thank you.