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Jan 26, 2012

Winter of Discontent

I have noticed a very interesting trend, perhaps not just for myself, though I can comment most on my own experience.

Winter is a much harder time for me, in terms of frustrations with dating, feelings of loneliness, issues with touch. Perhaps it's the cold, perhaps it's the "holiday season," perhaps it's some instinctive desire to hibernate that triggers a greater sensitivity. Maybe it has to do with my own relationship experience, since the times I have been in serious relationships and considering marriage -with all the feelings, attachment and experiences that are associated with those relationships -were at their height primarily in these months of winter time.

Who knows, really.

But at this time of year (December-ish and throughout winter), it just hits me harder. I'm often less interested in dating (paradoxical as it may seem), and I feel like my choices in planning dates are much more limited. The upshot is that I get to focus on myself during this time, sleeping more, taking more time to do the things I like and spending more time enjoying my friendships. I also know that I'll bounce back in terms of dating, and I'll be so much the better for it.

The point, perhaps, may be to keep track of the seasons, how I'm feeling, and what's going on in my own dating life. Think about it for a moment -anyone else ever notice a similar trend?

1 comment:

  1. I definitely noticed a similar trend when I was dating. Winter dating was always hard for me particularly since I don't have much tolerance for cold weather/snow. It just made my miserable to have to go out in the inhospitable weather, slush around, get cold and wet and then have to be on my game for a date.

    I remember one date where I kept sliding ankle-deep into slush, which got into my shoes. Cold, wet socks on a date is a major distraction.

    On the flip side, my first date with my wife was this time of year, and we ended up slogging around in the snow for half an hour before we found a Starbucks that had available sitting.

    You are more limited in what you can do, and I always wanted to avoid staying outside... but winter as a whole is a time of introspection, turning inward, hibernation etc. So it all makes sense from a meta-analytic perspective. There are a lot of hashkafic ideas connected to this also, with Tu B'shvat for trees that don't have any visible growth, etc. But that's a whole different discussion.