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Aug 28, 2011

Men 101: Food

Oh, food. Where to begin?

Food can be delicious. Delicious food that I don't have to work hard for is even better. But you know what the BEST thing is? A woman who prepares delicious food just for me.

There are all kinds of reasons why I really, truly appreciate and get a special kind of pleasure when a woman I really care for prepares her choicest culinary delights just for me, and I'll break it down for y'all.

For one, it strikes a basic chord of being cared for. From the time we're all very young, our parents take care of us in a great many ways, on of which is being fed by mommy. While it's not an image many people like to think about or evoke (particularly within a romantic relationship), men who are strong and independent often have few ways they allow others to give or care for them. Often, this is one of those few ways. 

But on a deeper level, there is something primal about being served food that communicates: "You're the alpha male." In many -if not most -animal hierarchies the alpha male does the least work and gets his first choice of food practically served up to him (in fact, for an alpha male to wait for his mate to eat is a very powerful and significant sign of respect, which has trickled down into today's culture as well). The alpha male lion is pretty much served by the female. So, on a very primal level, having a woman I'm with serve me food communicates -on an instinctual level -that I'm (her) number one. Something about having food served up strikes at the core of what makes a man feel like the head of the pack.

While guys may not always openly say this (out loud, especially not to women), any guy who has had a roommate (or roommates) that either brought back (or had delivered) any kind of baked goods made by a woman he's dating has a certain "status." Immediately there's something more "alpha" or "top of the food-chain" about him. They admire him, they envy him, they have more respect for him. I've had that roommate. I've even been that roommate. That kind of hierarchy status is hard-wired into our brains. Thus the engagement chicken, also known as segulah chicken

We look at him and say to ourselves: "Wow, I wish I had a woman who did that." When translated into womanese, it would sound something like this: "I really appreciate when someone puts the time, thought and effort to connect to me, and since I really love food, seeing a woman connect to a guy that way means she really gets the way men relate to the world. I wish I had a woman who understands men the way my buddy does. What a guy he must be to have a woman like that!"

The point here isn't to say every woman has to cook, bake and/or prepare food for her man. It's to say that when she does, she's connecting with him on his terms, in ways he truly appreciates and in ways that bolster his value as a Man. And ladies, who doesn't want to show their man that he's really special to her?


  1. Is it enough to cook or the serving ( ie putting the food in the plate) is essential for the man to enjoy what she has done?

  2. Depends on the man. Some men will smell it in the kitchen, grab a bowl/plate and serve themselves. Other men really appreciate having a table laid out.

    Since it's all about connecting with him, I'd suggest finding out what he really enjoys...